Who were the best looking U.S. presidents?
Came across this article written by a female thought it was hilarious, gives us gents and idea what girls find u201cattractiveu201dStarting with the u201cBestu201d1. Franklin PierceHere he isu2014the hottest American president! Youu2019re probably thinking u201cWow! Where has Franklin Pierce been all my life?u201d The answer is that he died in 1869.2. James K. PolkWithout James K. Polk, we wouldnu2019t have the state of Oregon. Thanks for nothing, James K. Polk!3. John F. KennedyFinally, someone youu2019ve heard of!4. Theodore RooseveltSomeone tried to assassinate Teddy Roosevelt by shooting him in the chest, but he survived because his CHEST WAS TOO HEAVILY MUSCLED FOR THE BULLET TO GET THROUGH. Then he went on to give a scheduled campaign speech. And nothing is sexier than a man giving a speech while covered in blood.5. Ulysses S. GrantUlysses S. Grant is not even pretending to care that someone is taking his photo right now. Hot!6. Barack ObamaI know some people will disagree with me here, so I am going to lay it all out for you.Playing basketball = hot.Smoking cigarettes = hot.Caring about you so much that he reads your email = hot.7. James A. GarfieldIf you think youu2019re in love now, wait until you see him in a fancy hat!8. George W. BushLetu2019s put politics aside for a moment and just admit that George W. Bush is a good-looking man and we all have huge crushes on him!!!9. Franklin D. RooseveltIf you want a u201cdate that will live in infamy,u201d then make a date with this man. Just keep your wits about youu2014if he offers you a u201cNew Deal,u201d he may just be trying to u201cpack your Supreme Court,u201d as the kids say.10. Thomas JeffersonYou might be familiar with Thomas Jefferson if youu2019ve ever seen a nickel and then fallen in love with the mysterious stranger whose profile is engraved on its surface, perhaps taking one out of your pocket every few minutes to give it gentle kisses.11. Warren G. HardingWarren G. Harding looks like that eagle from the Muppets who does the news. Andu2014Iu2019m just going to come out and say itu2014I find that eagle very attractive.12. Ronald ReaganRonald Reagan is at a disadvantage in this competition, because he wasnu2019t elected until he was almost 70. But still, he was a pretty good-looking 70-year-old man!13. Bill ClintonI deliberately cropped this photo so that we could all experience the feeling of being uncomfortably close to Bill Clintonu2019s face.14. Calvin CoolidgeCalvin Coolidge, or u201cSilent Cal,u201d was known for his trademark pick-up line in which he would stare at you without speaking until you agreed to go out with him.15. Andrew JacksonCongratulations, President Jacksonu2014youu2019ve won the prize for u201cBest Hairu201d! Please accept this trophy shaped like your hair.16. Harry S. TrumanHere is a man whose appearance would be radically improved with the simple addition of a neck tattoo.17. Woodrow WilsonWoodrow Wilson is like that stern professor you had a crush on in college until he left his academic career to run for president, so you dropped out and kept showing up at his house in the middle of the night until the Secret Service arrested you.18. James MonroeThis is why they called it the u201cEra of Good Feelingsu201d!19. James BuchananI actually find James Buchanan really attractive. There. Now there are no secrets between you and I.20. Rutherford B. HayesI look at Rutherford B. Hayes, and all I see is beard. So I just tried to rank him based on his beard. (His beard is great!)21. Benjamin HarrisonMeh. This beard is nothing special.22. George WashingtonGeorge Washington was one of the best dancers in the 13 colonies. He was also one of the largest landholders. I suspect his reputation for being a ladiesu2024 man had more to do with the latter.23. George H.W. BushYou fly a fighter off aircraft carriers in WWII, you win the Cold War against the Sovietsu2026and your thanks is that some snotty website ranks you the 23rd hottest U.S. president. Thatu2019s democracy for you.24. Richard NixonWhatu2019s not to love about a corrupt bad boy who plays by his own rules? Heu2019s like the James Dean of presidents!25. Herbert HooverHerbert Hooveru2019s entire presidency was a War-of-the-Worlds-style hoax that, unfortunately, went over the heads of the gullible American people as well as several generations of historians.26. Gerald FordWHY DIDNu2019T WE ELECT GERALD FORD WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER YOU GUYS?????? WE NEED TO START SURVEYING HIGH SCHOOLS FOR POTENTIAL PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES SO WE DONu2019T MAKE THIS MISTAKE AGAIN.27. Jimmy CarterJimmy Carter looks a lot happier than all of these other presidents. (He looks exactly as happy as the average peanut farmer.)28. James MadisonJames Madison wrote the Constitution, and then for 49 years he wouldnu2019t shut up about it.29. Millard FillmoreDoes anyone else think itu2019s suspicious that Millard Fillmore and Alec Baldwin have never been seen in the same room together?30. William McKinleyUnlike most people, William McKinley had four eyebrows!31. Abraham LincolnMary Todd Lincoln once said of her husband, u201chis heart is as large as his arms are long.u201d Yikes!32. Andrew JohnsonThis is Andrew Johnsonu2019s resting bitch face.33. Dwight D. EisenhowerBefore cabinet meetings, President Eisenhower used to insist that each and every member of his cabinet come and kiss his bald head for luck.34. John Quincy Adamsu2014PUT ANOTHER PLATE IN THE DAGUERREOTYPE. THIS TIME, I WANT TO LOOK MORE EVIL.u2014More evil, Mr. President? Because you already look pretty evil here.u2014THAT IS NOTHING. I CAN LOOK QUITE EVIL IF I WANT TO!35. Martin Van Burenu2014Wake up, President Van Buren! Itu2019s time to pose for your portrait!u2014Huh? What? OK, go aheadu2013Iu2019m ready.u2014Do you want me to give you a minute to, uh, comb your sideburns?u2014No.36. William H. TaftIf I were a big fat guy, I would grow a walrus mustache, too. Way to own it, Taft!37. Zachary TaylorZachary Taylor looks like heu2019s been through a lot.38. John TylerYou know the rattling sound thatu2019s coming from your window late at night? Thatu2019s John Tyler, fresh from the swamp.One of these nights, heu2019s going to figure out how to work a window latch.39. Lyndon B. JohnsonIf you have a crush on Lyndon B. Johnson, then you are going to love this photo of his gall bladder scar!40. Donald TrumpDo your tastes run to u201corange and fleshyu201d? If so, then maybe you should just go eat an orange.41. Grover ClevelandGrover Cleveland served two nonconsecutive terms, because America just needed a break.42. William Henry HarrisonThe next time youu2019re talking to a stranger at a cocktail party, try telling them about how William Henry Harrison was president for only 32 days. If they start to look bored, tell them you murdered a drifter and made it look like an accident. The subtle art of conversation!43. Chester A. ArthurYou canu2019t tell in this photo, but those muttonchops keep going for another two feet.44. John AdamsAnd here we are. Sorry, John Adams! If itu2019s any consolation, I bet youu2019ll do great on our next list, in which we rank the presidents alphabetically by last name
